RANSVESTIA

got all packed including a nice cerise colored cocktail dinner dress. We drove down in my car and registered as Mr. and Mrs. in a motel. Then, husband-like, he took the car and went off to take care of his business and I, wife-like, went downtown shopping. That was fun by itself but I also managed to pick up one of these cute little nothing cocktail hats that precisely matched my dress in color.

He finally returned "home" from the business and we got dressed for dinner, and I wore the cerise dress and the little hat. I think I was kind of cute but then I admit I was prejudiced. Anyway we went to the top of the El Cortez hotel and had a nice dinner with a lovely view of San Diego bay. We learned that there was a room lower down that had a three piece combo for dancing so we went down for an after dinner drink. Lynn eventually got brave and asked me if I'd like to dance. I said I'd try and I did, but never having danced as a girl before I stumbled all over him. Finally, I got the bright idea of closing my eyes so I wouldn't be able to see what was coming and start to lead accordingly. At that point I had one of the most significant experiences of my life because this was the first time I had ever completely relinquished control over myself to another human. I didn't have to make any decisions. He decided which direction we were going, how fast we would dance, what steps we would do and all else. The decisions were trivial, of course, but they were decisions and they affected me and what I would do but I didn't have to make them. This was significant because in our society men are trained to make decisions and determine courses of action and women are stereotypically followers of the men 's decisions. Thus, as a woman I became a follower which was an entirely new experience. Now, at this late date, I recognize something else about it. Decision making is a left hemisphere function and I, being scientifically trained, am very much into the logical, reasoning, analytical left brain way of handling things and not so adept in the emotional, intuitional, holistic and synthetic aspect of human function, which is generally a product of right hemispheric operation and which is much more characteristic of the feminine side. So for a few minutes I really had a right hemisphere experience but I didn't recognize that at the time because such things hadn't been discovered yet. But the interesting thing was that when I allowed myself to get the messages from his body as to what he was going to do and to intuitively anticipate I was able to dance quite well. If we bumped into somebody that was his problem. With my eyes closed I didn't see the collision coming and thus made no effort (decisions) to avoid it. It was a very interesting experience indeed.

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